Chapter 1

Have you ever thought that one day you might end up alone, living a life with nobody but the old folks at home, or probably a sister that never wanted to get married? One day my folks will leave the world, in all occasion it is always gonna earlier than me, and I believe one day my sister will get married too when she found the one she loves, that will really then leave me all alone. I don’t want to imagine that but by just looking at myself that time, I have all the right to think about those things that deep down I wouldn't want one. Who wants to live a life without anybody? Who can ever brave enough to walk a journey that no one looks after you, or each other? Verbally everyone says "you know it's okay you'll be fine, being single could be the best thing on earth. You have no idea the commitment that sometimes it terrifies me and I just want to get out of that suffocating situation, kids and wife all those stuff, you know?" Let me tell you something, you will be happy you did this, and I'm kind of sure one day you'll repent for not doing this.

      When I was young I literally was a free man. I didn't have anybody in my life until a time I finally found someone I believe I could lay my love on eternally. However, I would really like to tell you how my life was without anyone, anyone. My parents used to say things to convince me into a relationship, which I found stupid at first. After a few years I kind of put that idea into a deep thought. Earlier in my life I just wanted a friend, no boundaries like race or gender, i have nothing against these things which people tend to care too much and foolish enough to get into horrible fight. Back to it, I just wanted to find a friend who willing to travel the world with me, enjoy each drip of the life water: taste different foods, experience different cultures and meet more people. Wouldn't it be great? Of course, but the question is who will? And the answer is pretty much in expectation, and cruel I don’t have to say much.

      At the age of 21, what probably would a young adult be thinking? Among all my friends I was a little different and that little difference can cause damage beyond imagination. And for me, being different costs more than a little. Well, we’re all from an average family with ordinary background, and most of them are forced to fight a better life earlier than me. They were already working hard to make a living even when they were studying. Whatever possible part time jobs they could get, they would do it. Then, they planned to earn the most money in the shortest time: small businesses, great careers all those stuff. I was considered a lucky ass. I wouldn't need to work as hard as them. I wasn't from a wealthy family, just that my dad made enough money to keep us warm and full, put me and my sister- Jane into university. What else could a child ask for? If I were to tell you, quite a number of my buddies dropped out of study due to family fluctuating financial state. Their family needed another pair of hand to make living possible. Life wasn’t easy at all.

      What I was thinking back then was I hope I could change the world. Okay, stop sneering on me for thinking something as impossible as this. When I was little I told myself “one day when I’m old enough I want to help people.” This is a very honest thought I never altered a single word. It said those naive things when I was in my standard two or three. Then I started pondering what kind of job could actually do that? Doctor? Lawyer? First of all, at my age it would be really weird if I thought of being a doctor or lawyer. These jobs are normally instilled by parents, telling us how great a person could be if one becomes a doctor or lawyer- earning the most money for the sake of easy life in the future. I got this. All the parents would want their children to be easier rolling with life without fearing of making not enough money to pay the bills and feed the family. But, have you ever listened to the little, inaudible voice you said to yourself when you were a child?

      I didn't know how a doctor or lawyer can help a person at that age, all I knew was a doctor HEALS a person and that was all. Instead of all those fancy professional careers, do they know that a social worker or writer are also able to help a person too? I am pretty sure they’re lacking of some basic understanding on certain occupations. I’m not being melodramatic but the truth is Asian parents always force their children to study whatever they wanted them to be instead of their interest. In Asia there are no premier schools as being introduced in the western world. The parents usually put their children into a dancing set-up or singing school to facilitate them to achieve what they wanted to be, not what the parents wanted them to be. Of course among all there is a minority that does the same as the Asian parents, but majority of the Asian parents are doing the wrong teaching. Accept it or not this is the truth because I’m an Asian kid, I have seen a lot of examples around me. Of course there's hardship shaping them that way but the children are eventually going to make a life with their own pair of hands, and passion is the only thing they have to keep them going despite all the obstacles. When you're talking about helping people we don't talk about how much money we make. You may think that was what good for them and they may not think the same way as you do. They may prefer different kind of life. Of course everyone wanted comforts but learn to listen to the children, what they truly want. It’s time to stop bombarding them with the ‘reality of the world’ I’m sick of it.

      When I was 21 I intended to take part in helping people all around the world to understand what human's rights truly are and make them realize that they have their very own rights to accept or deny something, no one has the power to kill off anyone’s rights. It was a basic protection for a man. I wanted to join the LGBT community to obtain sexual and marriage equality. Being a bisexual man, I saw violence and cruelty incidents happened all around the world that made me wanted to do something to change the world. The world which adopted a wrong perception towards sexuality. Equality in any kind for everyone was what I wanted the most, to make the world a better place for everyone to stay, not to get brutalized, allowing no more of teen suicides.

      For this ambition I have in my heart, I knew I would be a little different from my friends. I knew I would be a little different of being a bisexual man. I knew I would need to possess a handful of knowledge before all. I knew it at the beginning of my crazy thought people thought it was unreachable, unrealistic and I must be insane.

      I carried that out despite all put-downs. I was working very hard every single day during my university time, and for your information, I furthered my study in physiotherapy. I didn't pass it with flying colors but at the very least, I wouldn't allow myself to prescribe or do any faulty treatment on my patients. To be honest I have not much interest in physiotherapy at the very beginning. Instead, I like to write especially poems. I didn't write many stories because I usually lost my determination at the middle of the progression, which was bad. Moreover, I express better through poems. I could look at a picture, feel the atmosphere and feelings in the air and put them into words. Not a very hard task for me, all I need was a little vocabularies and time. Of course, environment of writing a good poem is crucial, for better inspiration. However, when I got into this course my interest started to grow. It was actually fun when you saw your knowledge is applicable, making some different and the great thing is your patients. With your own eyes, you are seeing them getting better day by day! That could be the merriest thing that such happiness lingered for days. Until now, the decision made back then wasn't a bad one at all.

      For better writing I drummed in myself the interest of reading. I have read a lot before I could write a vile poem. The books by this author Nicholas Sparks were those I mostly read. In most of his novels he liked to include a military background for his characters. His writing has such magical effect that had me paid my full respect to the armies and marines, whose risking their lives for the country and their countrymen. The bond existed in the troops was another factor that always caught me off guard. I could still remember this one line he wrote in one of his books: "When you're on the field you're not looking after yourself, but the men around yourself." Moreover, my mom was an ex-cop, probably for this reason my intention of getting into military camp was growing fast once I’d done my degree papers. I set this as my goal for myself and swore I would dedicate myself not only to the men in pain but to my beloved country too if I made it through that pain-in-the-ass course. It was a pledge to no one but myself. And for that, I was working pretty hard. Frankly I wasn't the smart one. I need to put in so much effort to just get over the passing margin. Not many people were as clever as those geniuses, not me. But I held my belief hard: To achieve a dream is to carry the little child in you along your journey, to not lose your passion on the thing you truly love.

      All those hard works had finally gotten myself into the setting I dreamt my entire life. I started working in a hospital away from my home which was military based and I worked my ass off trying to recover them in the shortest time. Exercises and treatments that were to prescribe to the buffed army were the killing part. Considering my small physique I have no idea where the forces came from. I just did because I have to. To the men whose put their life on the line.

      Days came and went away, but on this particular day it was a beautiful day. The day was ending the clinic was winding up. Everybody left except me who planned to finish up the reports before I off for my weekend. Healthcare providers would never be allowed to bring any reports out of the clinic in any case. After everything's done and I was about to leave, I heard some noises coming from the entrance. I walked out and saw a soldier standing by the door with crutches beneath his axillaries.

      On this beautiful day before weekend, I met Will.